Eyes in the back of my head by unknown

Eyes in the back of my head

Eyes in the back of my head
Like a hawk's
As the children play,

Ears
Like a bat's
(For arguments)

Tuned in like a shark
(For blood and tears)

Nose like a dog's
FOR FIRE, PERFUME, SPILT MILK

Timing like a snake's
(For getting them back!)

Claws like a panther's
FOR PUTTING THEM DOWN WHEN UPPITY

Arms like an octopus'
FOR DRINKS, FOOD, DOORS AND SMACKS
(No SNACKS)
Misspelling,

Brain like a computer,
For calculating THEIR mood
THEIR friends' moods
The last time they ate
And
'WHO's NOT HAD A TOILET BREAK ?'

Mouth like a lawyer's
(For persuasion)

Skin like a Rhino's
(For swearing, insults,
Bad behaviour)

Digestive system like a tank
(For grinding up leftovers)

Two brains for shopping
(One for them, one for the food)

Three brains for when they're outside
(One listening, one for the cooking, one for the radio)

Four for when it’s tea-time
(One for fights, one for the T.V, one for the meal, one for Emergencies)

Energy of a horse
(To keep going where company chairmen flag)

Decision making powers of a General
(For snap decisions that will affect the rest of their lives)

Game plan of a chess master
(For every day, month and year)

Napping ability of a cat
(For instant recovery)

Analytical ability of a psychiatrist
(For figuring out WHAT that was all about)

Patience of a missileer
(Ah, to survive it all !)

Lungs like a whale's
(For venting frustration)

Pockets of a Bank
(For endless treats)

Skills of a medic
(Just in case)

Restraint of a warrior
(When being driven mad)

Diplomacy of an Ambassador
(For EVERYONE who meets my kids)

Drive of an entrepreneur
(To get them ready for school)

Tolerance of a saint
(For when things get broken)

Love of a mother -

Hang on!

Heck!

Hmmmm.

Ah, yes.

Love of a Mother AND love of a Dad -

Because I'm a Housedad!

-unknown -

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