The Worm Ode by Allen Jesson

The Worm Ode

As I stood at the Pearly Gates,
I could see St. Peter squirm,
"Of all the beings you could go back as",
"You want to be a .....worm ?"

Now listen here, Pete,
I'm aware you are a Saint,
But you know my history,
And you know indeed I ain't.

Now let me make amends,
Please forgive my sins of the past,
Nothing would please me more,
Than making vermi-cast.

I know the choice is open,
And I could be swimming in the sea,
But how can I convince you,
There is nothing I'd rather be.

I never have been fastidious,
Or worried about my dress,
I hate having to tidy up,
And prefer to live in a mess.

And then there's all that loving,
No ties and totally free,
I got that silly with just the one,
Imagine if I had three !

And if that wasn't enough,
I would be both boy & girl,
A change is as good as a rest,
I'll give anything a whirl...

And think of all that lovely food,
My own body weight everyday,
And never having to get on the scales,
With that feeling of dismay.

So that's it St. Peter,
That's my testament and will,
So just let me be a worm,
And help reduce land fill !

-Allen Jesson -

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The Worm Ode

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