The Goating Bug by Jennifer Haig

The Goating Bug

Me dad, he got the goating bug and his eyes - they all went weird,
In place of brown were dollar signs and new plans were engineered;
He ignored the sheep, forgot the wool and mutton that won't sell;
All the cattle roaming 'round the place - yep, out they went as well.

And in came the goats in coloured lots to rule our piece of land,
All dad could do was smile with glee and declare that life was grand.
For goats were easy labour - his drinking mates had told him so,
And now his fever pitched on high; he was keen to have a go.

An electric fence would do the trick, would keep all his goats in;
So with energy and hopes abound the fencing did begin.
He quickly dug the holes, cut the posts, mended here and there;
Ran miles of wire along his fence - he took exquisite care.

He strengthened all the corners and then cleared roads along the way;
The plastic droppers were applied - to make sure his goats would stay.
And he trained his little goats to respect his lovely fence:
They learnt that to stay away was, for sure, their best defence.

For, you see, clever dad had applied a voltage fit to kill;
Simply anything that came near it would need to write a will.
Dad's plans were going perfect; he had a fortune found;
By God, he knew he'd done it - he was the smartest bloke around!

But then one morn he woke from sleep with not a goat in sight,
It seemed they had escaped somewhere in the middle of the night;
So dad, with fuming rage, went to inspect the fence that failed,
As he paced along the lines, we kids, behind him, trailed.

Not one of us would speak a word - for we knew he'd hit the roof
We said nothing of the open gate, none told him of the truth.
And how dad's face grew red - heated from an inner burning fire,
Then, with sudden force, an unthought action, he kicked out at the wire.

Well, as soon as he touched that fence he flew into the air -
Did a summersault with half turn/twist and backflip with grandest flair.
He zipped and zapped this way and that and did a little jig;
Smoke wafted from his open mouth and his eyes were bulging big.

Then, all at once, dad's frantic antics halted as he fell -
The way he lay there brought us to think he wasn't feeling well!
Then, so very slowly, up he got and stumbled on his way
And never have we mentioned goats - up to this very day.

So, me dad has lost the goating bug - won't do it any more,
And every now and then his walk appears a little sore;
However, he's been talking to his mates, and don't ask me how;
He's absolutely certain that PIGS will bring our fortune now!

-Jennifer Haig -

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The Goating Bug

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