Supergran by Patricia Markey

Supergran

I wish I was a Supergran, with super powers as well,
You bet I'd make my presence felt, I'd come out of my shell.
I'd buy myself some cargo pants, with pockets deep and wide,
so I could hide all sorts of goodies, deep down there inside.

If I had super hearing, I could say, "No need to shout!"
I'd hear their smallest whispers; there isn't any doubt.
My eyesight would be superkeen; I'd see each little thing
they couldn't hide away from me, that new engagement ring!

Those airline tickets when they planned an island holiday,
and thought they'd leave old Gran behind, as they went on their way.
The brochures for that old folks' village I would quickly find,
although they'd have them hidden, just in case 'poor Gran' should mind!

One of my powers would surely be a kind of x-ray vision,
so I could see the kids out there, watching television.
They couldn't view those MA movies, with their Supergran
seeing through the walls as they looked on at Chainsaw Man.
I'd take on Supermodelling, to help the pension out.
and folks would phone from near and far, I haven't got a doubt.

And if the freeway traffic jammed, you wouldn't catch me there,
for with my super flying powers, I'd soar high in the air.
I wouldn't have to pay to have my lawn mowed, no siree,
if I were Supergran, my powers would make it easy as can be.
Imagine if a mugger fancied grabbing at my bag,
and thinking to himself, "She's easy pickings, this old hag!'

Well, what a shock he'd get to meet my Superstrength full on.
I sort of think I'd turn around and voila! He'd be gone
How shamefaced he would be if he should end up in the jail
and tell his mates who laid him out - I'm sure he'd turn quite pale.
"Just keep way from Supergran," you'd likely hear him say,
"I'd rather meet with Terminator any bloomin' day."

The folks who leave junk mail for me would very quickly learn
that Supergran would point her finger, and that mail would burn!
And dogs that messed upon my lawn would ultimately find
that Supergran would send them back the gifts they left behind.
In point of fact, all kinds of pests would quickly walk on by
and hurry past in case some misdemeanour caught my eye.

Alas! I'm not a Supergran; no superpowers to brag,
except maybe my Superlove; for in my Superbag,
my heart has room for all my children, of whatever age;
and though at times their thoughtlessness may make me want to rage,
to me they are my Superkids, and I their Supergran -
and that's the way it's always been, since ever time began!

-Patricia Markey -

Supergran

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