Early Morning Jog by The Guru

Early Morning Jog

Each morning I go jogging thinking, "I'm as fit as in the past",
But the lungs aren't what they used to be, my esophagus is tighter than my arse.
So with every breath I strain and suck, and there's a pounding in my brain
Imagine what it's like to struggle to keep up with a granny and her
zimmer-frame.

The legs are getting weaker with every step I take,
And I push myself to the limits to keep the old lady in my wake.
I've really turned it on, "my God I've really pulled away!
There's no way that she'll catch me now", it's really made my day.

Clippety-clop! Clippety-clop! "Hey sonny", she's on my back again!
That crusty old lady, and now two friends, and of course their zimmer-frames
"Oh shit! They're at my shoulder", and they thought that they'd go passed
But then I coat hangered everyone of them, I could cause they weren't that fast.

So now my jogging's over and I start the long walk home,
But no bad deed goes unpunished, especially if you're walking home alone.
And those dear old crusty biddies, they ambushed me in the street,
And stuck those zimmer frames ... well now I can't go jog for weeks.

-The Guru -

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