No More Tears To Cry by Pamela

No More Tears To Cry

a year and a half
since that cold day in January
yet I still remember it like it was yesterday
(I guess to me it always will be )

rain poured down as if it desperately needed to rid itself of all moisture
as if the clouds felt that they had to ring out all the water that night

that very night
or else the world would come to a drastic end

to me that "end" seemed to come anyway

the streets were pools of water
cars spinning out of control
she never had a chance to grow up

fifteen
she was merely fifteen

too young to experience life on her own
yet too old to have it spoon-fed to her

she wanted to be independent
a rebel
she wanted to say that she had done it without her parents ever knowing
but they found out

2:00 AM
knock on the door
"I'm sorry ma'am"
was the first words out of his mouth
"your daughter was killed tonight in a car accident"
the world came to a halting stop and yet the room still managed to
continue to spin

"you don't know what you are talking about"
"my baby . . . my baby, she's upstairs sleeping"

frantically she ran up the stairs
she was gone
no where to be found

its over

she was identified

it was really her

a best friend to so many . . . her life stolen away

I heard the next day

full of disbelief I acted as if I never heard the words

"lies . . . our school is so full of lies . . . its only a nasty rumor, you know how
that is"
was my reply to the news that soon became a reality to me shortly after

I saw her

lying . . . still
no movement
although I could have sworn that at any moment she was just going to rise
up out of the baby blue bed that she rested in and bring peace to a room
full of grief

it didn't even look like her

it wasn't her

too long I glared at her
questions running through my mind like a freight train at a speed to fast
to comprehend

"God, she was just a child. How could a life so young, be stolen so
quickly? "

no reply

I got infuriated with Him
she was a good kid
just made a few bad choices
I never thought they were severe enough to be punishable by death

the next day
as I witnessed the casket that held the breathless
body of my dear friend
be lowered into the earth

tears poured down my cheeks like rain out of heaven

it was so cold that day
I could feel the salty droplets dry hard on my
face

fifteen degrees

I wondered for so long about the life of my friend
I pondered this question so many times

why shall the innocent die, while the murderers run free?

how come she never got to fulfill the "perfect"
plan that we are all promised?

it has taken me this year and a half to understand the loss of my friend
it has taken me this long to realize that her
plan was played out

it is all summed up in this one word that often brings shutters to the
bones of so many

"lessons"

her death was a lesson to all that she left behind life is fragile
there is no way that we can control who lives and dies
all we can do is have faith that we will get through it

good and bad are obvious and sometimes not so obvious

right and wrong choices can determine life or death

so it's time for us to wake up
mourn no more
for time will heal our broken hearts

and one day
there will be no more tears to cry

-Pamela -

No More Tears To Cry

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